Superman
by theaann.dl
Summary: Ekaterina Zeklos, the former queen who tested Lissa, wants to talk to Rose Hathaway. As the old woman learns more about Rose, Rose learns more about herself and reflects upon the decisions that she has made. along the way she will lose her patience, she will lose her strength, maybe even herself. but it will be worth it because this self discovery will show her she truly is badass.
1. Chapter 1Lissa Tells me

Rose POV

We were all quite confused when the former queen, Ekaterina Zeklos, asked for my company. Well, she apparently said she wanted my "audience" but same thing. When Lissa told us, Dimitri's eyebrow shot up and Fireboy laughed. We all expected for it to be Lissa's feeble attempt for a joke. Personally, I chortled because that is just how freaking elegant I am. So after a few seconds of slightly stunned silence, because Sparky and I could barely keep quite for two seconds, we went back to eating our traditional Sunday dinner. Christian, yes I call him by his name sometimes, and I resumed glaring at each other while Comrade refereed and adjudicated. Yes I said adjudicated. I think I'm starting to absorb royal speak. Ugh.

So my train of thought was well away from what Lissa said until she broke out of her sort of daze and said, "I'm not kidding."

"What do you mean you're not kidding? Liss, it's the former freaking queen. What the hell would she want to do with little old me? The monarchy I grew up knowing hated me. That should've clued her in."

"First of all, Rose, we now know she didn't completely hate you. Second, the present monarchy happens to love you!"

"I sure hope there's a third, Liss, because I may be your boyfriend and your number one believer…"

"Hey!" I protested. I know they're all close because of their relationship but I'm Lissa's number one believer, not Firecrotch!

"…but Liss, why would the former queen, Ekaterina Zeklos, want to hang out with Rosie Posie?" he replied like he didn't even freaking hear me.

"You are so dead kid. Liss, as much as I want to fry and/or drown the love of your life right now, he has a point- and that's saying something Liss. After all, it's Chrissie we're talking about here."

I heard said Chrissie make a noise that I guess was supposed to signify his protest or something but I couldn't give a flying rat's ass because the more that I looked at Lissa, the more worried I got about how she was taking this. I mean, I'm not jumping for joy about it but Lissa looks like somebody just told her the color pink isn't a valid color anymore.

Comrade, who has been silent up until now, finally spoke up. I guess he also realized that Liss wasn't reacting to this very well, though I doubt he made the pink analogy. I smiled involuntarily at that.

"Vasilisa, is it true?" he said while giving me death glares. I get it, smiling while my bestfriend is having a mini panic attack is not good. I forced the smile down.

"Dimitri, why in the world would I le about this?"

"Not as much lie, Liss, more like joke about it." It was my turn to give a death glare but this time directed to Sparky-the-idiot-who-will-get-his-ass-fried-if-he-doesn't-freaking-shut-up. I guess it worked because not only did he clam up but he also paled a few shades. It's not that Christian is insensitive. He's just decided somewhere along the way that he would use jokes and sarcasm as a way of dealing with Court drama. But seeing as Dimitri and I are now taking this seriously, I hope he follows suit. I may not like the guy as much as Lissa does but a pissed-off Lissa is never pretty. If anyone tells her I said that, they would be begging for death.

"Rose, what are we going to do? The former queen wants to see you and speak to you!"

"Isn't it supposed to be 'with' not 'to' Liss? Like, 'she would like to speak with me'?"

"Roza, I guess Vasilisa is hoping you would just nod and smile."

"But Comrade, if she wants this and judging by the look of complete terror on Lissa's face, she does, then she would have to deal with me as me and not as some lifeless passionless nod doll."

"Really, Rosie? Nod doll?"

"Not my best, I admit. The sentiment is still the same."

"But Rose, she could say you're not fit to be my guardian or a guardian and she could send you away!"

"No, Liss, she can't. She retired. Only you can make me go away", I told her. I'd be fine in Ekaterina's presence, no big deal! Why does everyone think I'll screw it up! "Do you have any intention of firing me any time soon, Your Highness?"

"Rose…"

"I'll go if that's what she wants. I want you to stay calm and not think about it too much. Liss, you have enough problems as it is. She just wants to talk. If you behave, I will too."

"I always behave", she grumbled.

"Then it wouldn't be too much of a bother, would it?"

"I guess not. Just try not to get arrested? Please?"

"I'll do my best. So, when does she want me?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Okay. Would you guys hang out with Liss so I won't have to worry about her as I try to stay out of trouble?"

"Sure. We'll be lovey-dovey and stick to each other like glue." I'm glad he recovered fast. That's one of the things Sparky and I have in common, we bounce back fast. I hope his earlier comments don't become a big deal. I'll just encourage him to distract her so she won't remember. My goodness, I don't want to know how he will do that.

"We'll stay close, Roza. Are you sure you'd be okay?"

"Much as I will ever be. Keep the kids safe, okay?"

"Sure. I promise, love."

"I think I just threw up a little."

"Shut it Fireboy."

"Text me if anything goes wrong, okay Rose? Promise me."

"I, Badass Rosemarie Hathaway, promise Queen Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Dragomir almost Ozera that I will send a text message if anything goes wrong." I smrked as blushes crept on the cheeks of the couple. "Go Firecrotch."

"And I, Lissa Dragomir almost Ozera, promise Badass Rosemarie Hathaway almost Belikova that I will keep the boys in line and will text if Christian needs to get his ass kicked."

This earned her a full-fledged smile from me, a smirk and faint blush from Dimitri, and a "Hey!" from Christian which she quickly placated with a kiss. Before things got too heated, we all finished our meals and said our good nights.

That night Dimitri murmured words of encouragement and swore his belief in me. I responded appropriately by kissing him to the point of blowing his mind. He blew my mind in return and we soon forgot about the entire conversation.


	2. Chapter 2 the first conversation

Rose POV

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. When I got to the kitchen, I found our table filled with my favorite food: bacon, eggs, pancakes, coffee, orange juice, blini, brownies, ice cream, chocolates, and of course donuts. I smiled as I sat and started sipping my cup of coffee which just happened to be in his cup. He never minded.

"Comrade, what did you do?"

"I made some black bread."

"Then you are completely forgiven."

"For what?" he replied. I eyed the black bread he placed on the table hungrily.

"You tell me handsome. What's with the feast? I love it but if this is your way of spilling bad news, I'm kicking your ass, no matter how adorable it is."

"I didn't do anything that would require you to do that Roza."

"Dimitri, if you invited my parents for breakfast I will smother you with a pillow and torture Christian until he agrees to incinerate you."

"Christian wouldn't. And I didn't invite anyone over. I just wanted you to be in a good mood before talking to Ekaterina."

"I almost forgot. Why did you remind me?"

"If I didn't, your charge and bestfriend would probably use your tactics and convince Christian to incinerate me."

"Yeah, probably. But the torture tactics would be different."

"I sure hope so."

"I forgot to ask you Comrade" I said as I shoved food in me in lightning speed just in case somebody wanted to drop by for breakfast. "She's a Zeklos, right? Did you know her personally?"

"Nope, but Ivan's father does."

"Wait, does? He's still alive and I haven't met him?"

"Roza, it was going to be a surprise. He wanted to meet you too."

"Okay, I will let myself be surprised but only because it's you."

"Thank you. Now go get a shower and I'll clean up."

"But you already cooked Comrade."

"It's fine, go. Besides, Vasilisa wants you to call her before you leave and we both know that would take a while."

"Okay. Thank you! Love you Comrade!"

"I love you Roza."

After getting ready and assuring Lissa multiple times that everything would be okay, I made my way over to the guest housing. Lissa told me that she would be expecting me there. On my way, I helped a store owner carry a few boxes inside his store. I felt kind of bad for the guy because he was all alone and since I knew Comrade was friendly with him, I couldn't stop myself.

When I got to the housing, the guardians ushered me inside. A few commented on my being late and I would've retaliated and punched a couple of them but I decided to keep my promise to Lissa since she did call me "almost Belikova".

When I got there, Ekaterina Zeklos was already sitting in her chair. The room would've felt quite stuffy because of all of the stuff inside but the multiple random windows gave it a warm feeling to it instead.

"You're late. I value punctuality very much."

"So do I but I also value reminding people who asked for whom. It usually removes some of the bullshit expectation of ass-kissing early on."

"I take it some royals have tried to use you to get in the queen's good side."

"Yup. But since I'm her guardian and not her controller, I don't really have any say about that."

"I thought you said no bullshit?"

"I said no bullshit expectation. If you promise not to bullshit me, I promise to do the same."

"So promised. Now, going back, you are her bestfriend and most trusted advisor. You, of all people, have a say on what goes on in Vasilisa's life." She said as I sat on the chair opposite her.

"Yes and no. If it were up to me, I would still be bonded to her so that I could take away the darkness within her. And I would keep Christian away from her during the Moroi nights."

"Yes, I heard somewhere that you were initially against that relationship."

"Mostly because I needed Lissa to be safe, not that Christian would ever hurt her. It was just that I didn't want other Moroi, especially the royals, to give her a hard time for hanging out with someone everyone else perceived as a danger."

"Everyone else? You didn't?"

"Look, I know that Christian's parents made a bad decision, and then followed through with a series of worse decisions but who or what his parents decided to be did not, does not, and will never dictate who he is."

"And what about what his Aunt did?"

"Was not his decision and therefore does not dictate who he is."

"But Rose, may I call you Rose?"

"Your Highness you can call me anything so long as I get to call you Ina."

"Ina?"

"Short for your name, Your Highness. Most of the people I deal with get nicknames from me."

"I guess that would be fine. As I was saying, Rose, what about the decision he made to side with his Aunt when you first exposed her? And do keep in mind our agreement about bull."

"Siding with someone you care about does not make you a bad person. If it did, I feel bad for Lissa and Comrade. Christian did what he did because he cares about the woman who raised him as her own."

"But that didn't affect you at all? By the way, dear, a person is reared and animals are raised."

"No wonder no one says that nowadays. Imagine saying you were 'reared' in a normal conversation. These days, people will get the wrong idea. To answer your question, of course it affected me. I trusted him with Lissa's life, which is the highest praise I could ever give anyone, and he accused me of lying and making those things up. It sucked."

"But you are still in a relationship with him?"

"If by relationship you mean two people who like to make each other's lives a living hell using pranks and mocking and teasing, then yes I still have a relationship with him."

"And it does not come up?"

"Let me tell you something, when I started seeing ghosts to a point when I was unable to defend Christian from my instructors during the field exercises, he never doubted me. When I needed old writings to prove that Spirit exists, he came through even though he didn't even like me at the time. When I told him to run to safety when St. Vladimir's was attacked, he stuck around to help me. And when we were captured in Spokane and he was given an option between turning Strigoi or dying, he gladly chose dying instead of killing me or any of my friends. In fact, he was instrumental to our escape. So, no, him siding with his Aunt rarely comes up because I don't think about it that much. I just stuck with believing that what he did showed loyalty on his side and that I never have to worry about him cheating on Lissa, not that I ever had that problem before."

"You have a fierce sense of loyalty to your friends, child."

"That's because they're my family."

"Well, would you look at the time, it's been almost an hour. I didn't even ask if you wanted to eat or drink something."

"It's fine, Your Highness."

"I thought you said you would start calling me 'Ina'?"

"Umm…"

"It's okay, child. You must be wondering why I wanted you to see me."

"Well, it came up several times when Lissa told us."

"Well, I'm quite sorry that she had to be the messenger. It is just that I wanted to be able to talk to the legendary Rose Hathaway without there being too many questions."

"Why? Why me? There must be a lot of other Moroi, especially royals, who would love the chance to speak with you Ina."

"I have no doubt. But they don't have the same standing as you in so many things, nor do they want to talk back most of the time. Child, from the moment that I met Vasilisa, I have felt the need to help her and protect her. She charmed me like no other ever has. Maybe it was Spirit, maybe not. The reality of it all is that as much as I believe and trust in her, she is quite young. And her closest advisors are either royals that can scarcely be trusted or your group of friends and barring anyone's parents, the oldest among you is Guardian Belikov who, if the information given to me is correct, is in his twenties."

"So you want to advice her through me?"

"I want to get to know you and talk with you and hopefully share some of what I've learned over the years as a queen and as a simple Moroi for you to be able to use that knowledge to help Vasilisa, your friends and family, as well as yourself."

"Okay… "


	3. Chapter 3 continuation

"Okay… "

"Much as I want to take up much more of your time, I doubt it is a luxury either of us could afford."

"Umm… Your Highness…"

"Ina, please. I quite like to get used to it."

"Well, Ina, Liss actually gave me the entire day for this."

"She did? That's awfully generous of her."

"I never understood that expression, 'awfully + adjective': 'awfully nice', 'awfully sweet', 'awfully wonderful'. What the heck is so awful about that?"

"I do not know. I usually don't bother myself with trivial musings. Maybe you should ask me questions, seeing as you have the entire day."

"Oh. Umm… okay. Could we get some food please? I'm hungry."

"As you wish." She then turned to gesture to someone, probably an assistant, and gave instructions for food. I do hope donuts are on the menu. Knowing how picky royals can be, though, I doubt it. Still, a girl can wish.

"Have you thought of a question, dear?"

"Yes. Why me?" I cut her off before she can say something. "What I mean is that you could have asked Ariana Szelsky or Christian Ozera to talk to. They both influence Lissa in some way and they are royals."

"Rose, do you believe someone is better if they are of royal descent."

"Nope. I like to judge people by their character and by their friends."

"Judging someone by the company they keep is quite wise for a young girl like you."

"No offense Ina but I'm only young on paper. I've seen things, done things, experienced things that most of our kind would never even dream of. Besides, I'm the off-spring of a wonderful and well-known guardian and a sneaky well-connected mobster, I'm bound to have a few wise moments."

"If you say so."

"I do. And guess what."

"What?"

"You didn't answer the question."

"No, I didn't. My dear, I chose to speak to you because there seems to be something about you that a lot of people respond to. I know that whatever draws people to you is not charm from any spirit of any source. And before you ask, I chose now because I believe that now you might be ready to confront the shadows that follow you."

"I'm not shadow-kissed anymore."

"No. But it is not that hard to see that a lot of things haunt you."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm skilled in reading people."

"Did they make you take psychology classes?"

"No, I just went to too many psychiatrists and psychologists. The Zeklos clan has been consistently strained. Some are driven by power, some are not."

"So, what, you want me to be your patient and at the same time your sort of mouthpiece to Lissa's ear."

"Maybe. You are a bit of a character and I want to get to know you more."

"Okay, shoot. Ask me anything. Remember, no bull." I don't know where this is going and back then, I would've bolted from any situation like this. But if this insane idea can help me help Lissa in any way at all, I'm willing to risk it. The food came in and we got comfortable.

"Donuts! How'd you know?"

"The baker is an old friend of mine. My husband used to go there a lot. I called him up and he told me."

"Usual conversation, huh?"

"Indubitably."

"Okay Ina, ask while I eat."

"Very well. Why do you love donuts so much?"

"Really? You can ask me anything and you ask that?" she nodded so I continued. "Well, I think it's because of Alberta."

"Excuse me, who?"

"Guardian Petrov. She's the head of the guardians at St. Vladimir's. When I was five, my mom dropped me off at the academy. That place became my home. But before that, home was wherever I knew the people around me. My mother had to lug me around to wherever her charge was. Anyway, when she left me, I was scared. I didn't know anyone there. No one would try and scare a little girl but no one needed to try. I remember Alberta saying I cried a river that day. It wasn't because I wanted my mom; it was because I actually felt alone. And I had a fear that I was always going to be alone. Anyway, so I was crying and everyone was trying to shut me up. Some yelled at me, some tried to comfort me. Then Alberta shows up with a box of donuts, chocolate glazed ones. She stops near me, hands me the box of donuts, and proceeds to tie her shoelaces. While she was busy, I took one donut out and bit it. When she looked up, chocolate was smeared around my mouth and I was holding the piece of donut. She stood up so suddenly I dropped the box and started running. She was teeing me that she was 'going to make me pay' for the donut. That's when I realized that I still had the piece in my hand. I stuffed it in my face, stopped, turned around and smiled at her. She smiled at me and told me that if I could outrun her, she wouldn't make me pay."

"And did you?"

"Of course not. But she made me promise to practice hard enough to beat her."

"How did a guardian get a five year-old to promise practicing instead of playing?"

"A box of donuts was my price. Besides, I played a lot too. Mostly tag. It became my practice. When I'm trying to catch someone, I just imagined that it was Alberta with a box of donuts."

"You really liked it that much?"

"I liked what it symbolized: challenge, trust that I would try, and attention. My mom rarely gave it to me and there was Alberta who just gave me something to look forward to. She never went to look for me to challenge me, though. She made me go to her. Every time I thought I could, she would entertain me. I would run and give it my best until I would do something stupid like trip over air or collapse from exhaustion."

"She didn't mind it at all?"

"She never complained. Every time I fell, she would carry me to the infirmary. Every time I lost, she gave me a kisses."

"What?"

"Gotcha. She gave me Hershey's kisses, one piece every time."

"You could've kept running. The kisses would've piled up."

"Nah. It was like I was given sneak peeks. I was impatient so I always ate it immediately. Besides, I didn't want to offend her by not eating."

"Did you ever win?"

"Yes, eventually. But in between were moments when I became friends with Guardian Castile and Mason Ashford, I turned Lissa into my personal cheerleader, and Alberta showing me ways to improve myself. Whenever she was on grounds patrol, she would find me and share a piece of donut with me. I owe a lot to her."

"Maybe you do. Now, Rose, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I would like to rest now. There is a party that I must attend later on."

"Okay, sure."

"If you don't mind, could we pick this up tomorrow?"

"Sure. So long as Hans and Lissa are fine with it, I could spend time here. Will you be here long?"

"I hope so, dear. In the meantime, would you do me a favor?"

"Anything. So long as I don't get into too much trouble."

"Well, I hope it won't be too much of a trouble. I would like you to make lists for me. For tomorrow, it would be things that you like and things that you don't like."

"Why? What for?"

"Well, I've noticed that in our own ways, we are reluctant to ask about certain things. I was hoping that the lists would help facilitate our conversations. Would that be fine, dear?"

"Sure. But I might ask some help from my family."

"So long as you agree. Goodbye then. And you might want to call that nice guardian. I bet she thinks of you often."

When she was out of sight, I stacked the plates that were used and left. I realized that I haven't talked to Alberta since graduation. I saw her when she was with Hans questioning Lissa about my escape and Sonya and Mikhail's wedding but she didn't stay long enough for us to really talk. As I walked back to our place, I listed the things Alberta did for me that she didn't have to. She mentored me when Dimitri was gone. She encouraged me and looked out for me. She sort of helped Lissa with her interview with Hans. She covered for Dimitri and me. She didn't have to but she did. When I got home, I changed and sat on our bed as I dialed her number. I memorized it all those years ago when she was the strongest thing I could imagine. I still picture her as strength personified. I wanted to tell her all of that.


	4. Chapter 4 call

When she was out of sight, I stacked the plates that were used and left. I realized that I haven't talked to Alberta since graduation. I saw her when she was with Hans questioning Lissa about my escape and Sonya and Mikhail's wedding but she didn't stay long enough for us to really talk. As I walked back to our place, I listed the things Alberta did for me that she didn't have to. She mentored me when Dimitri was gone. She encouraged me and looked out for me. She sort of helped Lissa with her interview with Hans. She covered for Dimitri and me. She didn't have to but she did. When I got home, I changed and sat on our bed as I dialed her number. I memorized it all those years ago when she was the strongest thing I could imagine. I still picture her as strength personified. I wanted to tell her all of that.

"Guardian Petrov. Can I help you?" I couldn't help the smile that crept on my face. She and Dimitri are so alike in so many ways; he answers his phone using his last name too.

"Hi!" My smile was full-blown when I started using my 'Valley Girls' voice. "I, like, want to order some food."

"This isn't a food establishment."

"Not even for donuts and kisses?"

"Hi kid. How've you been? Haven't heard from you in a while, of course, news about you and what you've been up to always travels fast. I hear you've effectively scandalized half of Court."

"Always so proud of me, aren't you?"

"Sure, sure, we'll go with that. So, what's up? Is something wrong?"

"Nah, not really. Although I'm sure Dimitri and Christian are about to pull their ears off since they're hanging out with Lissa right now."

"And here I thought you'd be the one to break Belikov and Ozera."

"Oh, I have. Multiple times. It's just that, you know how Lissa gets when she's worried."

"Well, I know how she gets when she's worried about you. With everything else, she usually has you to assure her and calm her down. So tell me, what did you do this time?"

"Nothing, really. I just had to go to a meeting of some sort."

"Isn't your charge supposed to be the one with meetings, not you?"

"Well, when a former monarchy asks to speak with you, you kinda go."

"Well, Tatiana's dead, bless her soul. So that leaves us with queen Zeklos."

"Yup. She's the one that called Lissa."

"What did she want to talk to you about?"

"Along the lines of me and my life."

"Really? Well, how far have you gotten so far?"

"You. And donuts."

"Wow. So, a former monarchy now knows that I used to slip an underage novice sugar."

"Is there any other kind of novice?"

"You'd be surprised. Because of what you and your friends have accomplished, a lot of the runaways are now coming back. And since the present queen came from here, a lot of Moroi have been trying to get in. Not to mention the fact that a lot of the dhampirs want to experience training the same way the legendary Rose Hathaway did."

"Yeah, why need to mention that. And what's with everyone telling me I'm freakin' legendary? Alberta, I don't feel any different. Sure, now I get some dhampirs coming up to me asking me about random stuff and I get extra food when we eat out but I don't feel any different."

"No one said you've changed Rose. You've always been amazing; it's just that now a lot more people know about it."

"Are you saying that because you want something?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping you and your entire gang would come visit sometime. We haven't had anything much to do without you guys creating and attracting chaos."

"I know. We miss you guys so much, too. To be honest, sometimes Christian and I pretend that we're in Stan's class during some of the meetings just so we can convince ourselves that we need to be there."

"Well I'm hurt. You guys imagine Guardian Alto and not me?"

"Besides the fact that you're irreplaceable, Eddie and I don't really need to imagine. I swear, Hans has the hots for you. And Christian didn't know you well enough. Now it's just me witnessing Hans' moods and getting grilled by him."

"Where's Guardian Castile?"

"Protecting Jill. I know we're not supposed to tell you but you won't tell anyone."

"Well, at least you trust me."

"Of course. Alberta, I hope you understand that all the things that I decided I couldn't tell you weren't because I didn't trust you. I do trust you. I never really doubted you, that's part of the reason why I was confident enough to leave Lissa behind when I went after Dimitri. I knew that she would be safer inside than outside."

"What about all the other times?"

"For Vegas, Lissa wanted to come- she insisted and I rarely could say no to her. The two years before Dimitri, the threat was inside and I couldn't tell you because I couldn't even tell myself without sounding like a complete idiot."

"Paranoid, maybe, but not idiot. You always kept Lissa safe, ever since you two were in kindergarten. Ever since you two met and you decided that you liked her enough to be friends with her, you protected her. I would've taken all of that in consideration."

"I know you would've. And when others figured it out, your job, your entire career would've hung on the line. I didn't want to lose you that way. I don't want to lose you in any way."

"Rose?"

"You were always so nice to me. I lost my dad before I knew him but now he's hanging around Court so I might get him. I lost my mom to her job but she's working on us too. I lost the Dragomirs to a freak accident. I lost Lissa when she was either in a state of paranoia or grief. I lost myself to the shadows but they say I'm clear of it for now. I just, I didn't want to lose any more people. I wanted you to stay there and stay clean so when we felt ready, Lissa and I could slip back in."

"You're too loud to slip in anywhere and thank you. I appreciate being ranked with people you care about."

"That's probably because I care about you too Alberta. I'm really sorry you felt as though I didn't trust you. As for the visit, I'll tell everyone. Before I forget, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What?"

"Well, Ekaterina wanted me to make a list and I was hoping you'd help. Just name one thing I like and one thing I don't like."

"Hathaway, this better not be a one item list. One thing you like would be challenges. F anyone gave you a dare right now, chances are you would do it."

"Badass Rose Hathaway does not back out. Never have, never will. Although now I might want to be a little more careful not getting caught doing incredibly stupid things 'cause it might affect Liss."

"Well, your pranks and antics here are still legendary."

"You still remember those, huh?"

"They're hard to forget. Half of the time, I can't look at my coworkers without remembering something particularly embarrassing about them."

"That's good, you have enough to blackmail them if you want. How about something that I don't like?"

"Bullies. You never liked them. I remember you defending Lissa from people who made fun of her and took advantage of her kindness. You always helped her even though you knew that she would get mad at you afterwards."

"She quickly unlearned that. Besides, Lissa could rarely stay mad at me. She loves me."

"That she does. Okay Rose, I have to go back to work now. It was nice talking to you. Visit soon."

"We will, I promise. And Alberta, I care about you and I respect you and since I also trust you, it's safe to say that I love you. Thank you for everything."

"I love you too kid. Okay, bye." That conversation made me feel a lot better. She was always like a mom to me. I sure hope we'd be able to visit soon.

Now that I've called Alberta, I knew that the next step was relieving the boys. I took my time getting changed and headed to Lissa's quarters. It's time for hurricane Lissa.


	5. Chapter 5 back to Liss

**This one is for MarySilvaLyon. sorry for the delay. :)**

As I made my way to Lissa's quarters, I felt a sinking feeling. To me that was just ridiculous. I mean, I love the girl despite her obsession to the color pink. But I still felt that sinking feeling. It was the same feeling I got when I realized that Lissa would have to know about my relationship with Comrade. It felt like I was being robbed, like something important was being taken away from me. I know that I care about her and she is practically my sister but I couldn't help the fog of resentment that was setting in my mind. I had to tell her. Considering that she is my bestfriend, I would tell her anything anyway. But back then I wanted to. Now, there are things that I want to keep to myself like my relationship with Comrade, and now this. I may not know what's going on completely but I feel as though it's for me to go through in a way that she wouldn't completely interfere. Maybe I can just ask her not to, in subtle ways of course. I do hope this feeling goes away.

"… and what if she's wanted? Maybe the queen wants her to be a personal guard!"

"Liss…"

"Vasilisa…"

I shook my head and smiled. The sound of frustration and quiet irritation was evident in the boys' voices.

"Hathaway!" called one of Lissa's guards.

"Zup? What do you need?"

"For you to hurry up! Go in there and pacify, placate, annoy, and overall distract the queen because a few more seconds and Belikov and Lord Ozera might kill themselves!"

"They wouldn't. I told them to keep her safe. She might make 'em nuts but she wouldn't let something like that happen."

"Maybe. Better safe than sorry Hathaway. Just go in there please."

As I slowly crept in, I took deep breaths to settle me. I wanted to be my snarky strong self and not the doubter a few minutes ago.

"…and I don't want her to get n trouble!"

"By the way you're going you'd be…" was all I got out before Lissa crushed my ribs.

"... in trouble. Can't breathe, Liss."

"Oh, sorry. Sorry! I was so worried about you."

"Yeah, I kinda got that from the way your guardian outside reacted. And the way these bos visibly relaxed when I got in is definite proof too."

"She wanted you to be safe, Roza."

"She was afraid you'd deck queen Zeklos."

"Liss…"

"Well, I mean, sometimes you just go off and people don't know what to expect from you."

"Liss, besides making me sound like a loose cannon and a mental patient, what else have you been doing."

"Driving us up the walls."

"Testing her colorful vocabulary."

"Coming from you, Comrade, that means she was swearing like a trucker."

"Rose! You always tell me that I need to be more vocal!"

"Yup, and I'm proud of you kid! By the way, speaking of being proud, Alberta's asking for us to visit."

"Rosie, how is that connected to being proud?"

"You called her?"

"Yes, I called her. And to answer your question Sparky, it's connected because she's proud of me. She wants the whole gang to visit."

"Maybe we can sneak it in the schedule?"

"Liss, you're the queen. You MAKE the freakin' schedule."

"I know. It's just that too many will be talking about how I'm off relaxing when our government is crumbling."

"Sweetheart, it's not crumbling. So far, you've done nothing but improve the lives of your subjects."

"Christian is right Vasilisa."

"Liss, as much as it pains me to say this, Sparky's right. Now deep breaths, one, two, three…" Lissa's been having these mini panic attacks because of her tendency to over-think things. It's rare that anyone but me sees them but by now the boys have gotten the idea.

"Roza, why don't we come back to that later. Tell us about your meeting with queen Zeklos."

"Yeah, Rosie. Make our time worthwhile please."

"No, no, Liss no giving your boyfriend death glares even if he deserves it. We're trying to relax and remember that we will work things out together, like always." At this, Lissa has visibly released some of the tension in her body. I move to get us seated before starting.

"What do you want to know gang?"

"Gang? Really? Who told you that?"

"Alberta."

"Moving on, Rosie, what did you talk about? What did she say?"

"Well, Sparky, we talked about donuts, Alberta, you, Lissa, Me…"

"Wait, what? You and the former queen talked about Christian? Rose, what did she say? If she disagrees with my choice, she could put a sock in it."

"Lissa, that's not why she wanted to talk about Chrissie."

"Oh. Sorry. Why then?"

"I kept bringing him up."

"Roza, why?"

"Well, I wanted to know why she chose to talk to me. She could've chosen Fireboy or Ariana Szelsky, both of whom are royals and are close advisors of some sort to you."

"And she chose your winning sarcasm over my good looks? Loosing your touch Rosie?"

"I have absolutely no idea what Firecrotch is talking about. Anyway, she said they don't talk back. I said he did but she just kinda insisted me."

"Roza, is that all. You still seem a little worried."

"Comrade, I love it when you read me but sometimes, it makes me want to smack you."

"You love him too much to do that Rosie. Besides, I need my guardian. We hang out."

"Rose, please no violence?"

"I promise. I need him too, guys. He's my pillow."

"It's nice to know I'm needed."

"Always, Comrade. Always. Now, back to Sparky. Ina, which is my nickname for her now by the way, asked if the things that your family does affected me and our, I quote, 'relationship'."

"How the hell did we end up in a freakin' relationship?"

"Friendship you idiot. She asked because she apparently heard about how I used to be against you on the beginning."

"Yeah, you were Rose. You kept telling me not to."

"I didn't really know but even I heard that sort of thing Roza."

"It wasn't because of the reputation he got, or maybe it was. It's not like I hated you or thought you were going to turn Strigoi, Chris. It was the same reason I didn't want Lissa hanging out with the snooty royals. Reputation."

"You were afraid that I would damage her reputation?"

"I was afraid that they would find a way to use it against her and hurt her more than she's already been hurt. I didn't understand the relationship you two sort of had and now have. I didn't because I didn't take the time to. If you guys got together then, immediately you two would've been the talk of the entire school. I was trying to get everyone to stop staring at Liss like she was an anomaly. I wanted her to feel somewhat normal."

"And I sort of did when we were out of the academy. When we came back, I realized my normal was being a royal display."

"But now you have people you know do not just treat you like a display and you can turn to us anytime Vasilisa."

"It's Lissa, Dimitri. You're practically married to my bestfriend. The least you can do is call me by my nickname."

"Liss, I'd be glad he doesn't call you 'queen' or 'princess' anymore. I think the nicknames might take more time."

"But you got one, Rose. And I like yours, Roza. It sounds so foreign."

"First of all, I got one 'cause he loves me so much we're practically married. Second, Vasilisa is a particularly foreign name. Third, the Russian nickname for Vasilisa is 'Vasya'. Do you really want to be called queen Vasya?"

"Umm… no. Sorry Dimitri but I like Lissa better."

"That's fine Vasi… I mean Lissa."

"No laughing at my Comrade, Fireboy. Otherwise, I will fry you until there's nothing left but ashes."

"Rosie, the way you cook, even if you boil water it would end up in ashes."

"Comrade! You're supposed to be on MY side!"

"Rose, you can't really blame Dimitri from laughing. You DID burn water once."

"How come I've never heard of this?"

"Because, Sparky, you would've reminded me again and again to a point where I would have to explain to Liss why her boyfriend is in ashes form."

"Roza, please no more threatening my charge."

"Aww, Dimka. We're friends now, remember? You're supposed to defend me as my friend."

"Christian, I would against anyone except my Roza and your Lissa."

"Good Comrade. You'd definitely get a treat later."

"Guys, back to your talk with the queen please."


	6. Chapter 6 talk, short

this one is for GoIntoOblivion, the first one who commented.

MarySilvaLyon, the next talk would be on the next chap. :) sorry this is short but work is a little stressful right now. longer next chap, promise.

"Guys, back to your talk with the queen please."

"Well… Liss, Ina kinda wants to do it again, like a therapy thing but I'm talking to the former queen. Would that be okay?"

"Wait, what? What did you say? Why does she want to? Rose, is she taking you away from me?"

"Liss, we're like sisters. Nothing will tear us apart. And I don't think she wants me as her guardian. I think she just really wants to talk to me. She said she wanted to help you by helping me so that I could help you better."

"That sounds like something only you, Rosie, can come up with."

"It's the truth Sparky. So I told her I'd be fine with it if you and Hans are."

"It's nice that you would consider them first before agreeing immediately, Roza."

"With Liss, I knew that if I did it behind her back, she would definitely get hurt and that's the last thing I want. As for Hans, I did it for you Comrade. I knew that he would take it out on you and, as badass as you are, you still like following rules. I didn't want him getting mad at you for no reason."

"And so that he can continue guarding me, right Rosie?"

"Sure, Fireboy. So what do you say Liss? Liss? Breathe."

"So there would be a time everyday that you're not guarding me?"

"Well, I know that she wants to do it tomorrow but, yeah, I might go there everyday."

"But I need you."

"Liss, I leave you every time you get together with Chrissie. Just use the time I'm gone to make baby Dragomirs."

"You'd be going at night, Roza?"

"Comrade, we both know it doesn't just happen on evenings. What if I go there during lunch breaks? That way, Liss can relax in the middle of the day. She needs to power up between yelling sessions."

"And we could have lunch dates Lissa."

"So, you'd come back for the yelling sessions?"

"Sure. It's really entertaining when the royals fight and discriminate and belittle dhampirs and then get reminded that dhampirs are all around the room."

"I think the freedom to change morois is a really good step to silencing those airheads, right Rosie?"

"Yup. So Liss, what do you say? An hour every day until Ina doesn't want me anymore."

"I doubt she'd get tired of your colorful way of talking Roza."

"Okay. I think that you could go to her for an hour. Don't worry about Hans, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks Liss!"

"Roza, what else did you talk about?"

"Alberta and Donuts."

"That sounds like a sitcom or something."

"What does Alberta have anything to do with donuts, Roza?"

"Alberta gave 'em to her. She was, like, getting supplied or something."

"Liss, I ran, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. That's why I have a cheerleading outfit."

"You have a cheerleading outfit? Why haven't I seen it?"

"Because Lissa is too conservative to use something she used to wear in kindergarten Fireboy."

"Oh. Why did she need to cheer you on?"

"Because her prize was a box of donuts."

"Seriously? I can't believe you turned Lissa into a cheerleader because of that."

"Well Sparky I didn't force her. She had nothing to do and I didn't compare her to her older brother and I let her do whatever she wanted."

"And she gave me kisses!"

"Umm… Roza?"

"Hershey's, Comrade. I gave Lissa Hershey's kisses. So… after all the talking about the food and Alberta and I called her. I said 'thank you' for everything she's done for me and she asked if we could visit."

"The Moroi Training Program that Christian is spearheading and the Lessons on the Element of Spirit might be good excuses to go, Vasya."

"Okay, but Dimitri please don't call me that."

"Don't worry Liss, I won't let him. Now, I love you guys and yes, even you Chrissie, but Comrade and I need to go home now."

"Geez, impatient much?"

"Nope. Lustful."

"Roza…"

And with that, I dragged Dimitri to bed. I hope I didn't forget anything.


	7. Chapter 7 talk, not short

_I know I haven't updated in a while and I'm sorry. I'm making this extra long to make up for it. Hope you enjoy!_

I woke up with the goofiest smile that I could muster. Dimitri made my night wonderful and we snuggled after. It doesn't matter how strong or badass a woman is because when it comes to snuggling, we all feel loved. Of course, waking up to a Russian god who has the same goofy smile on his face doesn't hurt either.

"Comrade…" I whispered to him.

"Comrade…"

"Uhh…. Roza… is something wrong?" he said as he tightened his embrace.

"Comrade, I hate to make us stand but I really need to eat now. Your goofy smile may be good enough to eat but my stomach disagrees."

"It's okay, Roza. I need to go pee anyway."

"Okay. You go ahead and I'll start a pot."

During breakfast, we made small talk and ended up talking about the many lists Dimitri makes. That's when it hit me: I had a list of one. Well, technically, the list Ina wanted me to make has two things but they were on opposite sides of the paper. Rush work it is then.

"… coffee, bread, and some of those biscuits you like so much. What do you think Roza? Roza?"

"Paper and pen, Comrade." As he went to get what I needed, I thought back to what Alberta said: like, challenges; dislike, bullies.

"What's this for Roza?"

"Remember that list I told you about? I haven't made it yet. I want to do it for Ina."

"What list?"

"I didn't tell you? I'm sorry. It's just that we're so sync sometimes that I think I've convinced myself that we share my mind. Weird, I know."

"Well, what's the list about? Your favorite foods?"

"Nope. My likes and dislikes. Alberta said I like challenges and I hate bullies. Help me fill this piece of paper up."

"Well, things you like are easy. You like action, food, loyal friends, shopping, and helping."

"Okay. Dislikes?"

"Does Jessie Zeklos count?"

"Under bullies. Anything else?"

"You dislike fear, not being in control, people stealing your food, anything that can hurt the people you love, and the way people look at us."

"I think I dislike women drooling over you more."

"No worries, I am yours."

"And I'm yours."

"Okay Roza, let's move. We can't be late."

Dimitri and I went about our day as usual, which meant following our friends wherever they went. The screaming matches were particularly loud but I found myself constantly blocking them out and focusing on Liss. I judged how bad each statement was based on her expressions. As alert as I was, I also found myself looking forward to my time with Ina. I made sure Liss was secure and that Chris was mildly annoyed. I kissed Comrade on my way out and I went straight to Ina's.

"You are early."

"Ina, how could I be early when we didn't even set a time?"

"I heard you are usually late. I guess I simply adjusted accordingly."

"I wanted to be here."

"That is nice to hear. So, did you do what I asked?"

"Yup. I like challenges, action, food, loyal friends, shopping, and helping. I dislike bullies, fear, not being in control, people stealing my food, anything that can hurt the people I love, the way people look at Dimitri and I dislike women drooling over Dimitri."

"Challenges?"

"It's more of a weird thing. I don't like being challenged so I prove people wrong. After a while, I just started enjoying it. So now, every challenge becomes a way to prove myself."

"Why do you have to prove yourself?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I've been very lucky so far."

"You got shot."

"Yeah. But, see I had a lot of what my instructors would call 'mentions'."

"Mentions?"

"Times when I got written up because of something I did."

"Like what?"

"Well, there was the time when I accidentally pranked Guardian Alto."

"How do you accidentally prank someone?"

"He made a series of choices that resulted to his pranking."

"And what choices were those be?"

"Well, he decided that I would report in front about a random topic. Then he decided that he would sit in front. He also decided that he would sit on Ralf's seat."

"So you wanted to prank Ralf…?"

"Sarcozy. Yup. He was either trying-and failing- to flirt with me or he was callim me a slut. I wanted him to have a bad day."

"What did you do, exactly?"

"Well, Ralf was supposed to sit in his chair, which was rigged with a thin nylon which would've been stretched until he relaxed enough to place all of his weight on it. Doing so would've resulted to a rig to allow a small balloon full of paint and really strong perfume to cash right between his legs."

"Ah, I see. He would've smelled and had a stain between his pants. Why perfume?"

"'Cause Liss and I were in that class too, remember? I didn't want to stink like him. It was just very, very strong."

"May I ask how you acquired the necessary things?"

"I have my ways, or at least I had my way."

"You don't anymore?"

"I try not to replicate things that Mason and I did. Those things are sacred."

"Okay then. So things like that, antics of yours, resulted in you getting mentions? Marks on your record?"

"Yeah. I saw pranking him without implicating myself as a challenge."

"But it happened to Guardian Alto. How were you caught?"

"Well, I kinda reacted the fastest and I started laughing and then I started laughing harder. It was hard to miss."

"Otherwise, you would've been fine?"

"Of course. Have you ever pranked anyone?"

"Maybe. I'll tell you later. I want to explore a few more items here on your list."

"Okay. Just be warned that I won't forget."

"Noted. Besides pranks, what other challenges do you like?"

"Dares. I love it when I'm dared to do something. Whenever I pull it off, I feel this adrenaline within me."

"As much as I would love to hear about the dares you pulled, I want to ask if the dares also make you feel as though you can prove yourself."

"Well, yeah. Kinda like proving to people that I am, in fact, worthy."

"May I ask worthy of what?"

"I don't know… you might be pushing it a bit."

"I'll ask anyway. Why do you feel as though you need to prove to the community that you are worthy?"

"Because… because out of all the dhampirs, I'm the one that got to hang out with a royal. A royal, who treated and still treats me like an equal. After that, it was because I was hanging out with the last Dragomir. Then, because I was training with the BEST guardian. Now, because I have the privilege to be a part of the royal guards. I have to prove that I'm worth all of the things that I am privileged to do."

"Rose, what made you think that you weren't worthy in the first place?"

"Because…"

"Because?"

"Because my mom left me. I wasn't worth the trouble."

"Have you talked to her so far?"

"Yeah. She's even thinking of moving around here. Bottom line is that my parents are taking steps to make us closer."

"But?"

"But I didn't have her growing up. It would've been easier if my mom came and visited. She only ever did if her charge was supposed to be there. Otherwise, she wouldn't be."

"And you felt that the actions she made were because you are unworthy?"

"Well, my logical brain says she did what she did because she had to. The thing is, that little five year old that was left behind by her mother still doesn't understand that."

"I'm guessing Vasilisa is taking psychology lessons?"

"Yeah. I guess it was to understand the politics in a way that most others won't consider. She wants to get ready for those battles. I get ready by taking animal behavior classes. Knowing how certain animals acts usually give me an idea on how my enemies will act."

"Okay… So you still have that fear of abandonment."

"Saying that it's a fear is kinda weird. It's not a fear, or at least it's not just a fear. It's much more. When I thought that Dimitri was going to leave, I was ready to bolt. There must be a word stronger than fear."

"Do you feel that the people around you will leave if you don't do certain things?"

"Maybe… I don't know. At this point honestly, I don't want to know."

"Okay then. Maybe we'll talk about it more when you feel more comfortable?"

"Sure. So, what now?"

"Well, we started with one of your likes. Let's take a look at one of your dislikes."

"Okay. Bullies. I don't like them at all. And I say that in a way that means I would probably beat up and/or humiliate anyone who would do that."

"I'll go with why."

"Because they shouldn't do that."

"Rose, if you bully a bully, doesn't that make you a bully too?"

"I believe that if I did it for the right reasons, then the answer is no."

"How do you mean?"

"Isn't it, 'What do you mean?' not 'How'?"

"Actually, no. I understand what you mean. But I want to know in what context do you want me to take that statement."

"Well, let's say a royal was to pick on Lissa to the point where she'd get hurt. Chances are, a series of unfortunate events will happen to that royal. In that context, I wouldn't be bullying, I'd be avenging Liss. If a royal was to simply be annoying to a point where it irritates me and I decide to ruin the royal's day, then I'm simply bullying. There was no reason that I couldn't just avoid the royal but I chose to notice and act in a negative way."

"So you believe that if the action is justified, then it isn't bullying?"

"To a point, I guess. If the same happened to Christian, I would simply keep an eye on the royal and let Chris do what he wants. If he asked me to help him, it would be doing a friend a favor."

"It's a thin line, isn't it?"

"Yup. But we manage because we have to."

"Okay, I guess that's it for today."

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Rose, you've been here an hour and a half. Let's use the remaining time to eat, shall we?"

"I guess. You know, I really like talking to you Ina."

"I also enjoy your company Rose."

"It's just that there are things that I can't talk to my friends or even Dimitri about. Those things I can talk to you about."

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm helping in a way."

"Yeah, you are. Plus, you get me to think about things that I'd probably just bottle up inside otherwise."

"You shouldn't bottle emotions up. It gets tiring holding on to those after a while."

"Yeah. Let's dig in.'"

As I shoveled food in my mouth and made small talk with Ina, I thought back to what she said. Maybe it's time to talk to my mom. I mean, we talk but it's usually casual. Maybe it's time we had a bit of a heart-to-heart talk. I think I better write down and practice.

_So… I'm really sorry for the long update. I'll try harder, promise. Tell me what you think and hit me with suggestions. 'til the next, Thea._


End file.
